People always want to talk to me about the wild crowds at shows or the cool places I’ve seen and traveled to. They want insight and secrets, recommendations and tips, and they want to know about all the events and to be the first to hear about certain things. They want to be in the know; they want to be in my life. But the funny thing is that they have no idea what it really means to be IN someone’s life.
Reality check: There is nothing glamorous when you’re actually genuinely involved in someone’s life.
Knowing someone doesn’t mean that you know their social media presence and their numbers on Instagram. You’ll find that there are no filters you can instantly slap onto someone’s life. You can’t go into Photo Shop and edit out only the messy parts. And, no editing program on Earth can fix broken hearts or childhood trauma or depression.
I’m an all or nothing type of girl.
You are either someone who is committed or not, reliable or not. Choose whether you want to be in or if you’d rather stay out. You can’t have both. You can’t ride on the line. There is no middle. Life always begins with one step outside your comfort zone, and sometimes you just have to show up even when you don’t want to.
I think that’s the problem with our generation.
It’s rare where you’ll find someone who wants to show up unless it’s compatible with his or her schedule. It’s always about the convenience or reaping the benefits. How often do we see people stopping in the middle of what they’re doing and setting down their own personal to-do list, in order to just be and spend time with someone, or to help meet a need unless it’s super urgent. Rather, we’ll sit with our phones and “engage” with people that way instead. At one point or another, we’ve all become so self-absorbed, somehow falling too in love with the glory of being “liked” or how many times we’ve been “retweeted” or “shared”. We’re constantly scrolling through our Instagram feed, wondering who and if anyone “important” has hearted or watched our stories.
We’ve become too distracted, frivolously scrolling through feeds trying to somehow satisfy ourselves that way. We hunger and search for some internal missing piece we’re never actually going to get from the response of someone’s Facebook comment. And in this weird self-promoting treasure hunt and attempting to find greener grass, we miss things.
We miss people.
And we miss opportunities to be with people. We miss all those chances when we stop being aware and intentional, and refusing to show up.
Real talk: I have been so frustrated with people not showing up or being intentional recently.
Words are just words until you actually do something about it. Don’t say one thing, when you actually mean another. Be someone who follows through with your words: if you say you’re going to do something, please do it. Empty promises are unattractive.
You don’t just get a free pass into someone’s life. If you want to be in, you have to be intentional and willingly show that you actually want to be in—on the good days, yes, but also through the ugly cries and the hard days, and in the daily mundane not just in the explosive excitements.
God doesn’t orchestrate accidents; none of it is a coincidence.
Your circumstances are not an accident.
Your location, your geography, where you live is not an accident.
The people in your life are not an accident.
That particular person in your life is not an accident.
Your dreams are not an accident.
Your mistakes and darkness are not an accident.
Your brokenness is also not an accident.
YOU ARE NOT AN ACCIDENT.
Life has been incredibly hard recently. Like, on the days I don’t have to physically be present somewhere, it’s been pretty difficult to get out of bed, which basically means I have had a lot of time with God. It’s given me a lot of space to press into my life and think about the people in it.
What I’m learning:
Take chances on people.
Give people opportunities to be involved in your life.
Sometimes a chance or opportunity will only come once—be aware, and risk it.
Don’t miss out on the people who matter.
Caring for someone looks like being intentional, and available, and present.
Loving someone means reaching and meeting that person where they are.
But also, don’t take bullshit. And definitely don’t wait on people to decide whether or not they want to take a chance on you.
