It was five months ago, five o’ clock in the morning, Hawaii time. A very tired and burnt out me had awoken from the weirdest dream to birds chirping and fresh after rain air to the most beautiful half valley half ocean Kauai view while staying at a dear friend’s place. Life is always a whirlwind, but it had been extra turbulent that year. I sat in bed and began to write as I do when I feel overwhelmed. And as I began putting words onto the page, a deep sense of peace came over me. I needed to clean house. I needed better systems. I needed something to feel excited about. I needed a refresh.
Everyone talks about letting go and releasing people…
but no one ever talks about the deep grief that comes with that decision knowing that it’s not what you ever wanted but what was necessary for your entire being. No one talks about how you have to wrestle with yourself every moment of every day so much that you’re too drained to function and all you want to be is in a dimly lit room curled up in the corner in fetal position. I’ve been through my share, but I never knew this kind of pain could even exist.
When I look back and think about my life in years, I always tell people that 2015 was truly one of the most heartbreaking and toughest years I’ve ever had. But now, there’s 2020. It’s been a wild one hasn’t it? I’m nominating it for Best Shit Show of the Century. There were truthfully […]
When I first started #wordsbyjules both on Instagram and this personal blog in 2015, it was really meant just to be a space to process and take steps towards healing. I felt like my world was crashing and I was drowning, so I started to write (or at least more so in a public kind of way). I wasn’t going for eloquent or pretty, I was going for real. I was going for honest. And as I started to write, each post was like little pockets of air bubbles that gave me a little more strength and eventually helped me swim back up above the water.
I’m a little behind, I know. Everyone posted up about their decade reflections like two weeks ago and I wasn’t even going to write about this, honestly. But sickness got me down and here we are. People say that their twenties are their prime. You spend time going out and experimenting and exploring, […]
I had a friend gently question me the other day about why I haven’t written in a long time like, “Hey I used to read your blog every time you posted… (Insert silence).” Then I had another friend halfway across the world ask if I would want to contribute to her blog two nights ago, and I just thought OMG it has realllllyyyyy been a long time. So here I am, trying to get back into the flow of word vomiting and using this space to share a few snippets about what I’ve been learning and reminded by about life.
A good friend of mine the other day said to me in a conversation, “ Juliann, you have a cool life… I mean I don’t know how you feel about it but I think you have a cool life.” This friend it came from, trust me, lives a pretty damn cool life so I’m not […]
Sara Bareilles is one of my all time favorite artists. She’s has the ability to craft the tightest harmony layered vocals and gut-wrenching ballads, while also penning equally brilliant bars about heart flutters and belly butterflies. She’s an incredible live performer, she has a beautifully helpful soul, and the woman is a combination of snarky, class, and serious sass.
I read an article the other day about self-care. In the article, self-care looked a lot like treating yourself and pampering: a day at the spa, a tropical vacation, and a shopping spree. It’s almost like the idea of self-care has been commercialized and dare I say… trendy.
I was partaking in some of the most delicious chicken tikka masala the other day with some fantastic humans, when one of them said, “I know this sounds lame, but at least you’ll have something to blog about after this (in regards to the current life season I am going through).” And I chuckled, because I knew he was right. There is always something to take away from the circumstances we go through. But I didn’t think I’d be writing about all this so soon.